Book Review: How To Be Found By The Man You've Been Looking For

My sister recently shared this book with me and I would now like to proclaim it a MUST-READ! Okay, stay with me. Don't look at the title and think it's another "woe is me because I'm Black and single" book because it is not. I would deem this a self-help/devotional/inspiring book, with it being more of the latter two.

This book is written by Michelle McKinney Hammond and she is a great Christian author (I enjoyed this book so much that I picked up another book by her called Divanomics).

Here are the titles of the chapters! They will provide you with an overview of what the book specifically talks about.

• Love Hunger
• The Land of Do-It-Yourself
• Love at Any Cost
• The Winds of Change
• Knowing Your Season
• Making Life Work
• Recognizing the Man of Your Dreams
• Turning the Tide
• A Woman of Virtue
• Where the Rubber Hits the Road
• Paying the Cost to Be the Boss
• The End of the Matter

This book was rightttt on time with my life! For a while now, I have gone from "relationship" (and I use that term loosely because these relationships have been a joke) to "relationship", and have done little to work on myself as an individual and loving myself in order to love another. Everyone says, "Love yourself to be loved." and it's so true (inserts Learning Life Lesson's blog). But in such a hypersexed nation where relationships are thrown in your face, and the concept of relationships seem nonchalant (being that the divorce rate is so high), it's hard to really believe in true love and finding "Mr. Right".

On the contrary, I think that many young people get in the mindset of "graduate college, get a job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after". I've been home for 0.2 seconds and I've already told my parents that I'm not moving out anytime soon because Prince Charming will come rescue me this year and I'll be on my way to my castle (I've since changed this thought lol).

Michelle talks about "how to be found by the man you've been looking for" by using the biblical story of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was virtuous, patient, respectful, and many other things that helped her in finding love in Boaz. It's quite a beautiful love story :) See Ruth, chapters 1-4.

Reasons why I love this book:

• Each chapter has "Personal Confessions" or affirmations to help you, and "Man Facts" that are sooo in your face. I felt like Michelle was my best friend because she was DEFINITELY telling it like it is lol.
• Examples: Man Fact (Men are attracted to women who are not looking for a man. They can smell desperation a mile away, and it is sure to make them run in the other direction). 
• Personal Confession (I will set my life in the right order and free myself to live my life to the fullest, whether I have a man or not)

• Each chapter concludes with thoughts to ponder and a Bible scripture that ties into what you just read. 
• Michelle's writing voice... It's so casual and relatable. I really feel like she's my best friend or my mom or someone close to me lol.
• Michelle speaks on working on yourself holistically and not just follow these steps to find a man. Being FOUND by a man speaks to the "old fashion" idea that you don't have to throw yourself and be this overtly loud and in-your-face type of woman that is beginning to permeate our society nowadays
• The title is deep... being FOUND by the man you've been LOOKING for... #2thumbsup lol. I just think that's so catchy and speaks volumes. Many of us want to know how to catch the man we want. The title means, how to meet the man that you've dreamed about...that fits for you... not just someone that you're really lusting for.

Y'all, I love love love this book. I'm probably going to read it again once I finish Divanomics.

I'll end this post by sharing a quote from the book (and there are lots of good ones!).
"A man knows he is supposed to do the pursuing. When that process is thwarted by a woman's aggressiveness, he will become passive, leaving her to carry the relationship... if it gets that far."

This pretty much sums up what I think has happened in the Black community. Wimpy man + Aggressive woman= failed relationships. You can disagree, but that's fine. I'll high five myself on that one lol.


Have any of you read this book? I highly recommend it! It can be found on Amazon for $8.79! If you want to know more about the book, let me know and I can post more about it!