There once was a time when meeting the parents was a big step in a relationship, but now it seems like meeting the friends is the new major milestone. Yes, of course, meeting the parents is still a big deal and one should always put his or her best foot forward when meeting their significant other's family, BUT nowadays meeting the friends could be a more dreaded occasion.
Put off the first meeting of the friends and the new boo as long as you possibly can. If your new love interest did not emerge from a friend situation where they're already a part of the group, there's no reason to throw them to the wolves now. It can wait. This is especially true if it is someone you're not that serious about yet. If you don't know what you're doing with the person or how you feel about them it is definitely too soon to start adding other people's opinions!
Be sure to schedule a non-confrontational meeting location. You probably don't want to have it on "your turf". Having them join you at your house, your friends house, or a place where you and your friends regularly hang out is not a good idea. This provides an "us against them" mentality for you, your friends, and your significant other (whether or not you mean to). Try going someplace neutral - try a new restaurant for instance.
Do not let your friends become the deciding factor for how you feel about this person. It is not up to them. Yes, from the outside looking in, they may be able to provide you with unique insight and points of view (especially because they know you well), but try to remember you're dating the person, not them. If they have constructive feedback, listen. But ignore the unnecessary personal attacks.
****Youtube won't let me embed the video because of copyright laws, but if you own it (or can find it online) you should check out Season 6, Episode 4 of Sex and the City where Carrie introduces Jack Burger to her friends. It goes (seemingly well)... until it doesn't! Enjoy!
Send all article suggestion and relationship advice questions to tcarrexaminer@gmail.com
For more from this author, visit Richmond African American Relationships Examiner.
Tara Carr, a regular contributor to Examiner.com, is a twenty-something
year old sharing her views on life and love. Tara obtained a B. A. in
Communication Studies with a concentration in Mass Media. She draws on
her courses in Interpersonal Communication, Gender & Communication,
and Intercultural Communication for many of her articles as well as
day-to-day experiences.
No comments:
Post a Comment